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New Skool
pike/number one
'shipping it old skool
"Empirical Data" by LJC, 1/1, Rated PG-13 
12th-Sep-2009 01:35 am
star trek (needs more pike prime)
Title: Empirical Data
Author: LJC
Rating: PG-13
Synopsis: Pike introduces Number One to a time-honoured tradition.

Disclaimer: Star Trek and all related elements, characters and indicia © Paramount Television / Desilu Productions 1965. All Rights Reserved. All characters and situations—save those created by the authors for use solely on this website—are copyright Paramount Television / Desilu Productions 1965.

Please do not archive or distribute without author's permission.

Author's Note: Written for The Pike/Number One Prompt Table prompt #15. "discovery".

Empirical Data
by LJC

The Enterprise swimming pool was Olympic-sized, divided into lanes for laps, and was at the moment deserted. The overhead banks of lights were turned off, but the water itself was lit by underwater lights. Number One had to admit, the reflection of the water on the high walls was lovely.

"You did this at the Academy?" she asked, her voice echoing in the cavernous space.

"All the time," Pike assured her. "It's a time honoured tradition."

"And you never got caught?"

"Well... almost never."

She frowned. "You did use your authorisation code to seal the gymnasium, yes?"



He rolled his eyes. "Skinny dipping isn't skinny dipping unless there's the potential to get caught."

"I will never understand the allure of engaging illicit behaviour."

"Empirical research the only thing that'll convince you?" He pulled his uniform tunic over his head and dropped it unceremoniously to the deck. "Then I'll clearly have to give you a proper demonstration."

She gave him a cool appreciative look as he shucked his trousers, and he grinned when she ran the tip of her tongue over her bottom lip as he pants and socks joined the pile.

"This is insane."

He walked backward toward the pool and gave her one last wave before jumping into the water with a loud whoop. When he came up for air, she was stripped down to the skin and working on her boots.

"If this were a race, then I'd have already won, Commander," he said as he slicked his black hair back from his forehead and swam out to the middle of the pool. "What happened to that highly competitive nature I hear so much about from Barry?"

He laughed at her as she took the time to fold her clothes, tucking her socks into her boots and setting them carefully behind the stack of towels on the bench so they wouldn't get wet before she raised her arms over her head and dove cleanly into the water.

She came up beside him, her dark hair floating in a cloud around her shoulders she treaded water.

"So... what does one usually do, when engaged in this 'skinny dipping'?"

"Well," he swam closer to her, resting his hands lightly on her waist as he bobbed in front of her, long tanned legs scissoring beneath the water. "Part of the appeal is being someplace you're not supposed to be."

He leaned forward pressing a kiss to her mouth, sucking on her bottom lip as his hands tightened on her waist.

"And?" she asked as he pulled back.

"And then there's the rush of doing things you're not supposed to."

She gave a yelp of surprise as he pulled her under the water. She came up sputtering in outrage, and then it was all-out war. She pulled her arm back in a wide arc to splash him. He turned over on his back, kicking up spray. They splashed each other like children, their shouts echoing in the empty gymnasium until she ducked back under the water, and kept going until her feet touched bottom. Reaching out for him, she pulled on his calves until he had joined her.

In the near weightlessness of the pool she slid up his body, air bubbles escaping their mouths as she returned the kiss.

They came back up to the surface still wrapped around one another, and he pulled her over to the lip of the pool at the midpoint just before the bottom sloped, so her toes could just brush the bottom while her head remained above water.

"I think I'm beginning to see the appeal."

"Somehow I thought you would."

"You're just lucky the water's warm," she said as she glanced down, "or else a girl might be awfully disappointed."

She was rewarded by him pushing her up against the side of the pool, trapping her with arms braced on either side of her and one thigh between hers.


"That's Commander Brat, Captain," she said just before she reached down between them and did something very insubordinate that made him groan into her mouth as he kissed her long and deep while the water lapped against them.

She was just starting to wonder if all Earth rituals involving nude swimming ultimately came to this conclusion when the sound of the voices broke through their ragged breathing.

Exchanging panicked looks, they dove for the deep end of the pool closest to the entrance, flattening themselves against the wall under the protruding lip. Pike pressed up against her just has he had been before, but this time to shield her from the newcomers' view.

"...so weird, it's usually open during Gamma shift," came a woman's voice from the changing area. "I used to do laps when I came off shift."

"Maybe it's closed for maintenance?" came a second voice, also female.

"But there's nobody here—oh."

Unable to see what was going on, Number One could nonetheless make a pretty accurate guess the pile of clothes including the gold command tunic with captain's braid had just come into view. She flattened herself more tightly against the wall, ducking down low so her mouth and chin were still submerged while Pike drew himself up on his forearms on the side of the pool directly in front of her so his head and shoulders were visible.

"Captain!" came the startled exclamation, followed by the sound of footsteps scrambling backwards on the tiles.


"I'm so sorry sir—I didn't, I mean, we didn't mean to—"

"That's alright, Ensign..."

"Haines, sir."

"... Ensign Haines. I was just, well... I couldn't sleep. So I thought I'd swim a few laps."

"Of course sir."

"The thing of it is, I didn't have a suit, which is why the lock was engaged."

"Ohmigod," the other voice squeaked, and Number One muffled her laugh against Pike's abdomen, sending a tiny stream of bubbles to the surface. "I mean, we're so sorry, sir. I'm in Engineering and I had the override codes and we are so sorry, sir."

"That's alright, ensigns. But if you don't mind..."

"We'll come back some other time."

"I'd be much obliged."

"Enjoy your swim, sir."

Their footsteps receded, and when she heard the beep of the privacy lock being re-engaged, Number One reached up and pinched one of Pike's nipples. Hard.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"That was for convincing me to go skinny dipping in the first place." She grasped his shoulders and pushed down until he went under the water with a yelp of surprise.

"That was for not securing the privacy lock with your command code," she said as he came back up, shaking the water out of his hair.

She grasped the lip of the pool and pulled herself out in one smooth motion, water sluicing off her pale skin. She left wet footprints across the floor as she walked over to the towels.

There was a muted splash as he followed her, and she grabbed a towel off the stack, and threw it at his head. He caught it easily and swiped it over his shoulders and across his chest before wrapping it loosely around his waist.

"Had enough of engaging illicit behaviour, I take it?" he asked as he wrapped his arms around her from behind.

"I'm thinking of moving tonight's planned activities someplace a little more private."

"I like the sound of that," he said as his one of his hands slipped beneath her towel. "Damn."


"My socks got wet."

She rolled her eyes, and just kept towelling her long dark hair dry.
12th-Sep-2009 09:20 am (UTC)
Very funny and sweet!
12th-Sep-2009 06:52 pm (UTC)
ta very much! I needed somethign fluffy and sexy and fun, after spending all week working on "No Small Dreams" which was decided not fluffy and sexy and fun...
12th-Sep-2009 02:49 pm (UTC)
Oh, this made me grin like a loon.
12th-Sep-2009 06:11 pm (UTC)
This would be why I wrote it. :) And to continue the "reading their relationship all out of order" theme, the epic tale of crossed wires, yentas, and succumbing to temptation that is the beginning of their relationship will get posted last.... Because I'm just wacky that way.

(actually, it has more to do with the length of the one story, versus the other one, and my not getting it out to betas til v. v. close to the matrithon dealine.)

Edited at 2009-09-12 06:14 pm (UTC)
12th-Sep-2009 03:18 pm (UTC)
I can picture all of this so clearly, especially

He slicked his black hair back from his forehead and swam out to the middle of the pool.


She flattened herself more tightly against the wall, ducking down low so her mouth and chin were still submerged while Pike drew himself up on his forearms on the side of the pool directly in front of her so his head and shoulders were visible.

Way too much fun, all of it :D
(If my silly prompting contributed anything to this, I'm glad.)
12th-Sep-2009 06:09 pm (UTC)
Your silly prompting contributed everything! Just in a very roundabout way.

*hugs you*
(Deleted comment)
12th-Sep-2009 06:12 pm (UTC)
zomg, once Pike Prime gets in my head, he's really comfortable there and wants to hang out and ride horses and shoot Klingons and have sex in inappropriate places. Tho oddly, my TOS Number One remains an odd hybrid inside of my head of Majel and my fancasting...
12th-Sep-2009 04:44 pm (UTC)
Good and fun story, with appropriate icon. :)
12th-Sep-2009 06:52 pm (UTC)
The icon had much to do with it, yes.
12th-Sep-2009 06:03 pm (UTC)
Thank god I read this after the other one.

12th-Sep-2009 06:06 pm (UTC)
I needed something silly. I ought to wait waited and posted them back-to-front, so people read the soul-destroying one first, and then the dorktastic swimming one second.

I realised last night I've now written 16,000 of TOS Pike/Number One in the last month, and am sort of boggling. How did that happen?
12th-Sep-2009 06:40 pm (UTC)
12th-Sep-2009 06:51 pm (UTC)
What I kinda love most is the mental image of all the pretty lieutenants and yeoman coming back to the pool during Gamma shift, hoping the captain swimming naked isn't just a one-off.
12th-Sep-2009 10:49 pm (UTC)
*cheers delightedly* I'm so glad you wrote this.
13th-Sep-2009 05:27 am (UTC)
hooray! So. much. fun. There's something to be said for silly fluffy fic....
12th-Sep-2009 10:50 pm (UTC)
Woman, you do not know what you do to me with this kind of fic! I was bouncing with excitement at "underwater lights". Their easy (and sexxxy) camaraderie, the way Pike is totally suave about being caught in the act, the lolembarrassed!ensign...yum. I could see the little sparkling droplets rolling off their skin. You are wonderful. yum yum yum.
13th-Sep-2009 05:29 am (UTC)
*meep* thank you so much for the kind words!

I love the idea that it'll become scuttlebutt that Pike swims nekkid, but no-one twigged he wasn't alone...
(Deleted comment)
13th-Sep-2009 05:29 am (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
13th-Sep-2009 05:01 pm (UTC)
13th-Sep-2009 04:42 pm (UTC)
Sweet and funny.

Still feeling guilty for my morose Pike fic... I'll try to think about something funnier once my next monster fic is finished.
13th-Sep-2009 04:57 pm (UTC)
Do not feel guilty! I put myself through the ringer with "No Small Dreams", and needed The HAPPY FIC.
14th-Sep-2009 07:58 pm (UTC)
I adore, adaore, adore this! It's awesomeness has made my day. Thank you!
14th-Sep-2009 09:10 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I needed the FLUFF after "No Small Dreams", and I love the idea of Pike trying to corrupt his (nearly) incorruptable XO.
23rd-Sep-2009 03:02 pm (UTC)
23rd-Sep-2009 06:28 pm (UTC)

They are SUCH DORKS. I love them so.
4th-Oct-2009 03:36 pm (UTC)
You know, I saw this ages ago, and I sort of screamed and ran away because I thought it was about golden showers. *facepalm* I'm glad I finally clicked the link because the characterization in this is so good.
5th-Oct-2009 01:30 am (UTC)
I had no idea "Water Sports" = "Golden Showers" (someone told mevia emailand I *facepalmed*) an prolly mebbe I should try adn think of a new title? *sigh*

I loved writing this, tho. In my head, Pike Prime has a serious "clandestine sex in in appropriate places" fetish.
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